The 69 position combines giving and receiving oral sex at the same time. Some partners enjoy the shared pace; others find it distracting, physically awkward, or too intense. There is no need to make the position a performance test. This guide focuses on consent, comfort, breathing space, and safer-sex choices.
Start With a Clear Check-In
Talk about what each person wants before beginning, including areas to avoid, pace, barriers, and how either person can pause. Because both partners may be focused on sensation, use simple verbal check-ins and agree that stopping does not need an explanation. Switch to taking turns if multitasking makes it hard to notice comfort or communicate.
Choose a Position With Support and Space
A side-lying layout is often easier to adjust because both people can use pillows and change angle without supporting another person’s full weight. Keep the neck neutral, avoid twisting, and make sure neither person’s mouth, nose, or airway is blocked. Do not put body weight on a partner’s head, neck, or chest, and do not continue in a position that limits breathing, causes strain, or makes it hard to move away.
Pause to reposition whenever someone is uncomfortable. A position is optional; changing to a different activity or taking turns can be just as intimate.
Barriers, Lubricant, and Hygiene
Condoms, internal condoms, and dental dams can reduce exposure to fluids during oral, anal, or vaginal sex. Use a new condom when moving between people or body areas, and choose lubricant compatible with both the barrier and any product involved. Avoid oil-based lubricant with latex barriers. Lubricant can reduce friction and improve comfort, but it does not replace communication or barrier use.
If toys are included, use products designed for the relevant body area, clean them according to their instructions, and use a new compatible condom when sharing. Keep controls within reach and stop for pain, numbness, irritation, or discomfort.
Keep Expectations Flexible
Some people prefer to give or receive one at a time because it is easier to focus. Others may need breaks for jaw, neck, hip, or back comfort. Treat feedback as useful information rather than a problem to overcome. Stop immediately if there is breathing difficulty, pain, dizziness, numbness, or a change in consent.
Explore Related Guides
For comfort-focused essentials, browse body care and lubes. You can also read our guide to standing sex: comfort, balance, and safety for more communication and positioning principles.